I am sure you have experienced some sort of adversity at a point in your life. Doesn’t it suck? Especially if it were a situation which started out small and you overlooked it but then it got so big and spiraled out of control. It could also be something that was just beyond your control.
How do you handle the helplessness you feel when your life seems to be falling apart. Do you respond or do you react to the situation?
Responding to the situation means that you acknowledge what is going on, step away from it which gives you an opportunity to look at it from different vantage points.This allows you to brainstorm solutions that come to you.
When you react, you FREAK OUT and stay in denial which leads to procrastination until it knocks and keeps you down with no choice but to face it.
Reacting had been my most frequent default state in the past..sometimes I just wanted to bury my head in the sand and stay there until the situation shifted….but of course that never happened. I CREATED the situation or parts of it and it is was my RESPONSIBILITY to fix it.
Here are 10 steps to help you bounce back quickly from any challenge:-
1. Acknowledge what is going on – Get honest about what is going on. Staying in denial will only perpetuate it. Take a sheet of paper and write down the situation in detail and reflect on what could have been done differently if any.
2. Beat yourself up about it – Know that it is OK for you to talk about it, vent about it, cry about it, scream about it….GO FULL OUT with all your emotions for a LITTLE while OR until you wear yourself out of your pity parties. Your choice.
3. Lessons Learned –
- What lessons did you learn from this experience? Write them down.
- Has it occurred before.. meaning is there a pattern? Write it down.
- What does it tell you about yourself? Write it down.
- Are there some habit patterns that you need to change? Write them down.
- How can you do that? Brainstorm ideas and write them down.
- Where can you seek for help? Write it down.
- How can you support yourself through it. Write it down.
Writing your ideas down will cause you to think and bring them into focus which opens the doors for solutions to come.
Deliberately making time to reflect on the situation may give you some insight which will propel and equip you with the clarity and insight to the next steps towards rapid transformation.
4. Make peace with it – It is what IT IS period. There is no need to continue on with the pity party. It is done. Blah blah blah..Really? Is it that easy to let go of the anger, blame, shame , guilt, feeling of helplessness or whatever negative emotion you are harboring about the situation? Sometimes Yes and other times No, depending on the individual and gravity of the situation.We are each unique and therefore have different ways of handling pressure. Some may cave while others may thrive through the entire thing.
This is where you are going to need to tighten your mental muscle up a notch. Sure you may have messed up or not, sure life may have happened to you, sure you should have known better, sure you are in a lot of pain, sure you are filled with regret……and what GOOD staying in that space has gotten you?
If you can turn the the situation around in one sweeping change – DO THAT. If you cannot change the situation right away..then take in a deep breadth and let it go.
An exercise I learned from my mentor Bob Proctor is to write down your challenge and how you are feeling about it at that moment in time on a sheet of paper and then on a second sheet of paper, you write down how you want things to be and how you want to feel. Then burn the first sheet of paper and release it to the universe. The second sheet of paper will become your point of focus.
5. Turn the other cheek – YES, I said to turn the other cheek!! There is no point talking about the issue to everyone who wants to listen..and alienating your friends and family members. Turning the other cheek simply means removing your attention from the challenge.
Being an advent student of human potential, I have come to understand that what you focus on persist and when you remove your attention from it, you open doors for the solution to present itself to you as your body is in a more relaxed state.
Questions and answers are on different vibrations. Ask the questions and trust that the answers will be revealed to you in the right moment but you have to be in the vicinity to be able to hear it.
6. Ask for support – If you are part of a mastermind group, ask them for support. Often times looking at a situation through someone else’s eyes may enable you to change your perception about it. You can ask friends and family members who have your back for support as well. Be open and tell them what you need help with and ALLOW them to be there for you.
7. Appreciation list – Whatever you FOCUS on persists and you find whatever you are SEEKING. Take another sheet of paper and write down the things you appreciate about this horrible mind bogging challenge.
If you cannot think of a single thing…then write down what you appreciate about yourself or your beautiful loving kids or pets. Seek and you shall Find. So look for anything you can easily feel appreciation for and bask in it. Appreciation makes you feel a whole lot better about everything, does it not?
8. Forgive yourself – The greatest gift you can give to yourself is forgiveness. Forgiveness awashes your mind and releases negative emotions. Forgive yourself for the what if’s and why did I not’s thoughts. It is what it is. You could have only done what you could with the awareness and resources you had at that time. It is a new moment and you get the chance to start afresh.
But how do you forgive yourself for a challenge you know you created consciously or unconsciously? You HAVE to forgive yourself in order to move forward because you DESERVE a break. There are no mistakes..only small or ginormous lessons leading to quantum leaps of growth.
9. Self care – Deliberately carve time out for your favorite exercise if you are not already on an exercise routine. Gauge how you are feeling moment by moment. Take time to meditate and relax your body. Make time to spend on the things that matter to you and on the things that give you joy. Self care is an important facet to your success. You gotta be selfish enough to make time for yourself as YOU are your most important ASSET.
10. Now what? You Re-focus and Re-group – Go back and re-read your vision over and over until you feel saturated with ideas on the next action steps and then work from a place of inspiration. You will know what you need to do.You always do when you have CLEAR intentions and expectations.
Do you have any tips that work for you? Please let me know how you liked this post and if any of the ideas I shared resonate with you.
Yours in abundance,